The Count Down to Vacation!!

In 9 days my husband and I will go on our first cruise, that we decided to dub the "It's about time Honeymoon". This has been a long time coming. We got married young. We didn't have a honeymoon to speak. Unless you consider 2 days child free in our hot apartment a honeymoon...Not! So over the years we have gone to coast, Seattle, LA and other close by destinations but never for more than a few days, and most times we took the kids with us. Like the 3 week 12 states family vacation...Yeah. That is a blog entry for another time!

Between me being treated for cancer and having to have a stem cell transplant and the Mister having kidney failure, dialysis and eventually a kidney and pancreas transplant, we kind of haven't had time or resources to think about fun stuff like cruises and extended vacations. Throw in raising kids and owning my own business and well, I think you can get the picture.

So we saved for a year (thanks to our wonderful friends who really talked us into doing it). For some reason I wasn't real excited about going. What about work? I can't be gone from the office that long...Right? Wait yes I can. That is what I hired competent people for!! Slowly the idea started to grow on me. Now I am so excited I can barely contain it!

We will be gone for 11 days. 7 of those days will be on a cruise in the beautiful Caribbean. Blue ocean, white sandy beaches and warm sunshine. My friend and I decided we are wearing bathing suits everyday. Because we can. I have worried myself for the last decade about my body and my weight and what I don't want to wear because of how I will look...Ha! No more. I am not perfect. I am not skinny. I am healthy even if my body is not a little size. I am strong, and quite frankly if push came to shove I could out walk and exercise my skinny friends into the ground!!

Life is really too short to live regretting what should have been or what isn't. Live in the here and now and if anything learn from the past but don't dwell in it.

I plan on having the time of my life with the love of my life, not only just on this long awaited vacation, but everyday.

When the Cat is Away...

The mice get sick and can't do anything they planned!

This weekend I had grand plans. Paint the kitchen, stair well to the basement, hallway. Strip and refinish an antique dresser. Sew some pillow covers for the living room. Pull weeds. Oh the list went on and on. See, I figured I would do all these things while the Mr. and the Sons were out of town so no one would ask me why I was doing what I was doing and then offer to give me advice that I did not ask for nor planned to take into advisement. I envisioned them coming home, walking through the door and being COMPLETELY dazzled by what I had done. "Really? You painted that yourself?" and "Wow, you did an amazing job, I don't think I could have done a better job!". Instead it will be more like "Why did you move that little table that was by the door? Where am I supposed to put the keys now?". *sigh*

Instead of doing everything I had on my "Honey-do-if-you-don't-hurry-up-I-will-do-it-myself-or-pay-someone" List, I relaxed. I read. I moseyed around. I bought take out. I got my nails done. (OK, fixed really...another story for another day).I went to church (the highlight of my week I might add). I had lunch with my amazing friends and some awesome young people. I went to the fabric store (another highlight...)

I thought to myself that considering that I had spent the last 4 days sick as a dog to the point of not being to go to work for 2 days, that maybe what I needed was good old relaxation, reflection and reconnecting with those who I love. I visited with family and friends and was at peace with the fact that I got nothing done this weekend that I planned or would have ordinarily considered productive. It just works out that way sometimes.

So the Cat is coming back (and I am so glad I might add). I'm feeling better so I guess this was a perfect little get away for all of us. But next time the mice will play!

Who Knew?

My husband lost his aunt on Tuesday. My best friend lost her father on Sunday. Another dear friend lost his brother a little more than a week ago. I have experienced more loss of very close people in the last year than my whole life. As I move up in age, those around me do too. My friends are burying their parents. Some have had to bury their husband or wife. Even children are not spared. I know that my turn will come. What can I learn from these events? Is there anything to learn? Yes. For one, know Whose you are and don't spend eternity in the smoking section. God made provisions for everybody, not believing it does not make it not so. Have a will. Put money away for your burial. Make your final wishes known to those close to you. Live and Love without regrets.

Death. It's all around us. It does not ask for an invitation to this little intimate party we call life. It crashes in, snatches the host is off to find the next party to crash.

We will all have our party crashed. Some parties will have been going on for some time, others maybe just beginning, you know that time in the party when you finally get enough courage to go dance, or favorite song is finally played...you know that time when you finally say to yourself, "I'm glad I came".

It is my hope that when my party gets crashed, that I am remembered as the hostess with the mostess. Generous, caring, not worried about who's spilling what on the carpet.

What kind of party will death crash for you? Make it so fly that he will want to stay around and party for awhile.

What a Blessing....

Today my 2 1/2 granddaughter and I baked for the first time. We made chocolate chip cookies. She was amazing. She measured, poured, stirred and even scooped the dough onto the cookie sheet. It was messy. She sneezed, I'm pretty sure into the dough. One of the butterfly stickers that she had on her cheek fell into the flour. She ate the chocolate chips...and I busted her. I think I will remember this day the rest of my life.

There was a time when I didn't know if I would see my children graduate middle school. Now I am baking for the first time with my grandchild!! I mean really, what a blessing is that? I feel so incredibly favored right now.

I don't take it for granted though. I did absolutely nothing to deserve any of this. God sent his twins, Grace and Mercy, to me and that is why I am able to sit here healthy in mind, body and spirit and share this incredible moment with my grandchild.

I look so forward to many more moments. First sewing project, first knitting lesson. I look forward to creating memories and knowing that one day, at least it is my hope that Kamiyah will pass on the lessons that she has learned, just like I am passing them on to her from my grandmothers and she will say..."My grammy taught me how to do that".

When words just are not enough....

A lot has happened in the 3 months since my last post. I turned 40, I lost a dear cousin who was only 33 and a new mom, Michael Jackson freaking died!!!, I booked a cruise, my son got swine flu (yeah, I know huh?) I lost a dear friend and tribulator in the Lord and now one of my best girls is a widow. I put on 5 pounds. I found out I will be the grandmother of twins. I got a raise AND additional responsibility at work. I'm telling you I have experienced quite a bit, to the point that I just have not had the energy to blog. My brain has just felt on overload, I can't quite process an event before something else is happening.

I'm baaaack though! I have found that life is so short. Too much time is spent waiting to lose weight, waiting to make more money, waiting to get the right job, man, whatever. I have had a hard time wrapping my mind around many of these things. It's really hard to put into words so I have to just give it to God and know that He knows what He is doing. When nothing makes a LICK OF SENSE, I have to know that is only because I am seeing just a partial view of the picture. He sees the whole thing.

So, with that said I am coming at life face forward, hair flying in the wind seeing where it takes me. It's the least I can do.

...and you say that like it's a good thing?

I have a confession to make. I am terrible at multitasking. I have spent pretty much all of my adulthood doing it. Raising kids, working sometimes more than one job, battling cancer, running a home business, teaching sunday school, being a mentor, neighborhood association, PTA, volunteer to whatever needed some help, going to school...all at once. Honestly. Insane. Now I wonder what people REALLY meant when they said, "I don't know how you do it" or "You do so much!"...

I had an epiphany today though. My mind is always on the next thing. It is rarely right here in the present. I am calculating the next move, the next stop, the next something. What I fail to see in the present. Okay, like I have put on close to 10 pounds, parts of my house are a mess, I don't have time to pray and study the bible...You know things that are important. So here I am 6 days from 40 and really saying to myself was any of the pursuit worth it??? Right now I am saying no.

So what now? I withdrew from class. I stopped working 10-12 hour days at work. I gave up a lot of things at church quite a while ago. I will go to bed at a decent hour, wake up at a reasonable time, excercise my body, mind and spirit. Now is the time! I don't want to miss out on anything else that I SAID was important but in reality my actions said something else.

As of right now the only things I NEED to do is go to work, come home and go to bed. Sounds boring but trust me, in my crazy multi-tasking, multi-faceted, crazy world that is all I need.

Easter AKA Resurrection Day....

I have never gotten caught up in the crazy frenzy of Easter and the eggs, baskets, new clothes...When I was raising my children, I wanted them to revere and respect what it was about, the death and resurrection of their and my savior, Jesus Christ. Some reading this post may disagree, not believe in JC, whatever. It's ok. But I will say this, just because you don't believe does not mean it isn't so. I accept it by faith. I have not had reason NOT to believe, and I have been through a lot in my life to cause me to question if there is a God.


This year was the first time in over 15 years that I dyed Easter eggs. I did it a few times with the boys, then relegated that task to my mother in law, sister and mother. The ONLY reason for doing this now was my granddaughter. She is 2 now and though she is still trying to figure out the whole Easter story...not the one about bunnies laying chocolate eggs, but about who Jesus is and why Easter is. I thought, why not? She can expirement with colors, and be creative.


Anyway, back to the eggs. I let Kamiyah dye a dozen and a half eggs all by herself. That was so funny. She was so enthralled with the colors and I was surprised by myself. I let her do things I would never have let the boys do, like making an absolute mess and not saying a word about it...That's how I know I'm a grandmother.

Next year she will be a year older and understand a little more. She will learn young that rabbits don't lay eggs there is no real Easter bunny. She will learn that one day Jesus was crucified, died on a cross, and rose on the third day. Not so she could get some candy, toys and eggs, and a pretty new dress and shoes but so she and anyone else can have eternal life. That my friend is what Easter is about.