New Year

It has been a long time since my last post.  I went on a hiatus of sorts...so many things have happened since then.  My world changed in 2014.  By the time 2015 rolled around, I was so relieved with the expectation of new beginnings, preparing for graduation...but I met 2015 with challenges that I frankly did not think I would survive.  My husband retired from his job with a medical disability and husband was hospitalized multiple times.  My mental health was in distress and it became necessary to take a leave of absence from work.  Every turn it seemed there was something breaking my spirit into pieces.  Sure there were rays of light here and there in 2015...my college graduation, my niece going off to college, beginning a new job; but there were the absolute heartbreaks-the deaths of friends and family members, notably my father in law. The grief and sadness just does not let up! My daughter in law lost her mother.  Then a week later her sister's father died.  The love of my life, my rock, my everything, is fighting for his life.  I am trying to be optimistic about 2016.  I have a new focus on health and wellness for myself, and know that whatever comes my way I have the tools to deal with what comes along.

Where does the time go?

It has been 8 weeks since my last post. Let's see, I have perfected swimming with a kick board, had a 41st birthday, my husband was hospitalized-THREE TIMES... I don't know where to start!

I am still feeling how shall I say? Traumatized? Sure. Great word. Just days after my last post, my husband was hospitalized to be treated for acute rejection of his transplanted organs. It was supposed to be cut and dry, in and out, thank you very much. Unfortunately it did not turn out that way. What should have been 3 days turned into almost 14. 1 blood clot, 6 days in ICU and a failed graft pancreas later he got to come home, only to be readmitted 1 day later. 3 days, $200 in meals from the hospital cafe, and more insulin changes he came back home. Life changed. He is now a diabetic again.

You would think that I had NOT lived with the disease for 17 years before the transplant. This has been really difficult for me to accept. Now, I have to say, I did know this was a possibility when he received the transplant. I fully understood the risks. But oh the freedom of being free of living life around diabetes! The spontaneaity of it all! For the last 19 years of our lives, one of us has been ill. his diabetes, my cancer. After his transplant two years ago, it was the first time in so long I don't remember what it was like before, we were just able to BE. No checking blood sugars. No dialysis. Ok, so there were pills, but we can do pills!! I guess the point is that we felt normal.

So here we are, back to what we know. Checking blood sugars, planning meals. Being careful. I am trying to adjust to being a 'diabetic' wife again. One bright spot is the fact that my husband is a trooper. He is like the energizer bunny, takes a licking and keeps on ticking. That makes it so much easier to deal with because I am not taking on having to care for him like he's incapacitated. He's my hero, and he prooves that he's Superman everyday.